Often, when someone hears the word “assertiveness” they think of “aggressiveness”. They instantly connect it with being mean, pushy or bossy. While some people are that way, that is actually not assertiveness. Being “Assertive” is not the same as being ” Aggressive”. Assertiveness is a way to get your needs met without offending others. It is so powerful, yet no one is hurt. That does not mean that people will not at first reject your new-found assertiveness. However, if they do, they will eventually respect you, because real assertiveness involves both respect for yourself and the other person. In fact, assertiveness is about asking for what you want and expressing yourself in a manner that respects others.
The Dictionary defines it as “having or showing a confident and forceful personality”. It’s a communication skill that can reduce conflict, build your self- confidence and improve relationships.
So now tell me, are you keen to be assertive and stand up for yourself?
Let me share with you 8 benefits of standing up for yourself:
- Builds confidence
Standing up for yourself and being assertive is closely linked to being confident enough that you have the ability to let others know what you need from them. It is ok if someone doesn’t like what you say as long as you are confident you are saying the right thing while being respectful.
- Makes you more comfortable around your own peeps
It also implies your belief that expressing your feelings to others is safe (we all need to feel comfortable to confide in another). When we are in the company of people we like and who like us back, it’s easier to speak your mind and it makes you feel more comfortable to speak your mind.
- Boosts your self-esteem
If your self-regard is deficient, you won’t be able to or be prepared to assert yourself for you will think you don’t deserve it. At a much deeper level, it’s about fundamentally altering the way you view yourself in the world. It will help you feel more confident and also give your self-esteem a boost.
- Frees up your time and mind
When you learn to successfully stand up for yourself you start experiencing freedom of time and the mind. All those times you said yes or remained silent, when in actuality you wanted to say no and then wasted so much time berating yourself and questioning yourself as to why you did that will be saved. Voicing your emotions, you free up your time and mind.
- Helps in creating higher self -worth
Standing up for yourself shows that your self worth is high. And even if you haven’t yet been able to be assertive, once you start, you will feel more confident and that will help you feel more important and lead to higher self-worth.
- Builds respect for yourself
Candidly letting others know what you need and desire or how you feel demonstrates personal dignity, self-confidence and respect for yourself.
In effect, it’s like saying, “I matter, I need you to take my point of view and feelings into account”. If you don’t assert yourself, you can end up feeling frustrated, misunderstood and unfulfilled
- Builds respect for others
Learning to calmly stand up for yourself can be immensely gratifying, hence improving your self esteem and making those you love feel respected and heard as well.
- Your needs are met with lesser conflict
When you learn to communicate your point of view with assertive language, you’re also more likely to get your needs met with my lesser conflict. People will begin to respect you and what you say more because they will realize that will not take things lying down, especially when what you are saying is true and factual.
What are the benefits of standing up for yourself? ›
Standing up for yourself can improve your happiness, well-being and relationships. It's important to express your thoughts, opinions and feelings clearly and respectfully because this will allow you to set and maintain personal boundaries.Is being assertive standing up for yourself? ›
Being assertive is a core communication skill. Assertiveness can help you express yourself effectively and stand up for your point of view. It can also help you do this while respecting the rights and beliefs of others. Being assertive can also help boost your self-esteem and earn others' respect.What does it mean to stand up for yourself? ›
Standing up for ourselves is about having boundaries, and importantly, knowing how to assert them. When we don't do this, we become passive – we allow life to just “happen”, often trampling over us along the way.What are the benefits of standing rather than sitting? ›
More calories burned: One study showed that standing sheds 88 calories an hour, compared to 80 calories for sitting. Walking burns a lot more -- 210 calories an hour. Less back pain: Sitting for long periods of time tightens your muscles and can hurt your lower back, especially if you have bad posture.Does standing help with anything? ›
Standing helps us feel healthier, and when we feel well, we're often in a better mood. Participants in standing studies at work have reported improved mood as a peripheral benefit of standing at work. So if you're having a slow workday (or feeling down), get on your feet!What are 3 keys to being assertive? ›
PRINCIPLES OF ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION
Communicates concerns directly to the person he or she has an issue with, rather than talking indirectly about someone behind his/her back. Listens actively and reflectively to others. Offers direct eye contact.
- Start small. Being assertive is directly linked to your levels of self-confidence and self-esteem. ...
- Just Say 'No' Do you find yourself saying 'yes' when you mean 'no'? ...
- Relax! ...
- Trust yourself and lose the guilt. ...
- Protect and prepare.
- You can give an opinion or say how you feel.
- You can ask for what you want or need.
- You can disagree respectfully.
- You can offer your ideas and suggestions.
- You can say no without feeling guilty.
- You can speak up for someone else.
adjective. Britannica Dictionary definition of SELF–ASSERTIVE. [more self–assertive; most self–assertive] : very confident and willing to express opinions.What kind of person is assertive? ›
An assertive person is one who acts in his/her own best interests, stands up for self, expresses feelings honestly, is in charge of self in interpersonal relations, and chooses for self. The basic message sent from an assertive person is “I'm OK and you're OK.”
What is a good word for standing up for yourself? ›
- come out with.
- have one's say.
- let voice be heard.
- make oneself heard.
- make plain.
(stand up for someone/something) to defend someone or something that is being criticized or attacked.What is the benefits of sit and stand? ›
The sit-to-stand exercise (also known as the chair stand or chair rise exercise) strengthens your lower body and helps you maintain or improve your mobility and independence. The end goal is to do the sit-to-stand exercise without using your hands. This will be easier as you become stronger.Do people learn better standing or sitting? ›
So the short of it is yes, standing did help these students perform better on their tests and their brain activity was more active. Keep in mind this is one study in a classroom setting, but the results are certainly encouraging.Why is standing better than walking? ›
It is more tiring to stand in one place for an hour as it causes a few muscle groups in your feet and legs to fire for an extended period of time. When you are walking, all the muscles in your feet and legs are used as they share in the work. This prevents any one muscle from getting excessively tired.Is standing good for mental health? ›
The researchers conclude that limiting the amount of time people spend sitting and instead encouraging them to stand while working could play a significant role in improving their mental health.
Moving & Standing Can Improve Focus. When we stand to work, we shift our weight and burn calories. The energy is similar to the mental effects of a workout, which can improve focus for many people. Standing to work provides a brief energy boost that activates our focus.Does standing build core strength? ›
Standing Helps Work Your Core
One of the benefits we've touched on but haven't focused on is the muscles in your core. Your core is surrounded by muscles that have to work to keep your body in equilibrium. They're part of how you keep your balance, and they're an integral part of a healthy body.
- Quick Links. Don't be afraid to say no. ...
- Don't be afraid to say no. ...
- Take care with your tone. ...
- Learn the importance of discussion. ...
- Be mindful of your body language. ...
- Use the language of assertiveness. ...
- Script what you want to say. ...
- Pick your battles.
- initiating or ending conversations.
- making requests and asking for favors.
- being able to say “no.”
- addressing issues that bother you.
- being firm.
- expressing both positive and negative emotions.
What are the four rules of assertiveness? ›
The basic assertiveness formula has four steps: (1) the situation, (2) the feeling, (3) the explanation, and (4) the request. Another way of stating the formula is (1) here's what happened, (2) here's how I feel about it, (3) here's why I feel that way, so (4) here's what I want.What are 8 keys to assertive behavior? ›
The book offers effective methods for transforming passive-aggression into healthy assertiveness to communicate in constructive ways through eight keys: Recognize Your Hidden Anger; Reconnect Your Emotions to Your Thoughts; Listen to Your Body; Set Healthy Boundaries; Communicate Assertively; Interact Using Mindfulness ...What are the 3 C's of assertive communication? ›
What Are The 3 C's Of Assertive Communication? Confidence – you believe in your ability to handle a situation. Clear – the message you have is clear and easy to understand. Controlled – you deliver information in a calm and controlled manner.How can I be assertive but not rude? ›
- Choose your words carefully. This is especially important if you're going to assert yourself in situations where you were previously passive. ...
- Develop good listening skills. ...
- Avoid taking things personally. ...
- Be humble. ...
- Show confidence. ...
- Handle negative issues quickly. ...
- Deal with feelings of superiority.
- minimise conflict.
- control anger.
- have your needs better met.
- have more positive relationships with friends, family and others.
- Respect. It's important to be respectful when you're asserting yourself. ...
- Honesty. ...
- Accountability. ...
- Self-control. ...
- Assess your personal communication style. ...
- Practice your delivery. ...
- Maintain control of your emotions. ...
- Assertiveness skills for the resume and cover letter.
Assertiveness also increases your own belief in your ability to handle whatever will come your way – again reducing stress, buffering you from anxiety and depression, and reinforcing your self-esteem. It makes it easier to say 'no' to inappropriate or overtaxing requests as well.What behavior improve assertiveness? ›
Assertive vs Non-Assertive Behaviors
Appropriate tone, being honest and direct, and positive verbal and non-verbal (body language) communication are important aspects of assertiveness.
Assertiveness is about persistence, calmness, standing firm, being confident and being willing to find the win / win outcome. It is often associated with aggression; however, this is a misconception, aggression is far from assertive, rather it is manipulative.How can I be assertive but kind? ›
- Practice. ...
- Use “I” statements. ...
- Focus on specific behavior rather than making it personal. ...
- Say “no” cushioned with a compliment. ...
- Have one consistent message. ...
- Don't be apologetic or self-effacing. ...
- Look confident. ...
- Speak calmly.
Do assertive people get angry? ›
Assertive people stand up for themselves and their rights and do not take crap from others. However, they manage to do this without crossing the line into aggressiveness; they do not attack the person they are communicating with unnecessarily.Are people born assertive? ›
Unassertive behaviour can lead to low self esteem. We are all born assertive but as we grow we learn different patterns of communication. Our environment can make it difficult for us to be assertive.What is a character trait for someone who stands up for others? ›
altruistic Add to list Share. Someone who is altruistic always puts others first.What do you call someone who doesn t stand up for themselves? ›
Nonassertion is failing to stand up for oneself, or standing up for oneself in such an ineffectual manner that one's rights are easily violated.How do I fill myself up with confidence? ›
- Learn new skills. ...
- Dress for success. ...
- Leave your comfort zone. ...
- Set goals for yourself. ...
- Focus on your strengths. ...
- Learn from your mistakes. ...
- Eliminate negative language. ...
- Ask questions.
Self-worth is the internal sense of being good enough and worthy of love and belonging from others. Self-worth is often confused with self-esteem, which relies on external factors such as successes and achievements to define worth and can often be inconsistent leading to someone struggling with feeling worthy.How do you show yourself worth? ›
- Increase your self-understanding. An important activity on the road to self-worth is to build self-understanding. ...
- Boost your self-acceptance. ...
- Enhance your self-love. ...
- Recognize your self-worth. ...
- Take responsibility for yourself.
Take Action or Say Something
Once the conscious choice is made to stand up for your beliefs, commit to taking action. Take a deep breath, muster your courage, and speak up; take a stand and point out that a line has been crossed.
to fail to meet someone you had arranged to see: He was supposed to be here at seven, so by seven thirty I began to think that he stood me up.Does standing up every hour help? ›
Remember to move for approximately three minutes every 30 – 60 minutes. Why? Research shows that staying stationary – whether sitting or standing – for long periods of time, can be bad for your health. Our bodies are built to move and doing so for approximately three minutes every hour helps us feel our best.
How often should you stand up? ›
Sitting behind your desk all day is bad for your health and experts have long been advising people to stand at their workstations for about 15 minutes an hour. But a University of Waterloo professor says his research shows that people should be standing for at least 30 minutes per hour to get health benefits.What is the 20 8 2 rule? ›
For every half-hour of work: Sit for 20. Stand for 8. Stretch or move for 2.What is a good stand goal? ›
If you're just standing, you need to do so for five or more minutes at a time, says Buckley, but if you're moving, two minutes is enough to give benefits.What does standing for a long time do? ›
Muscle fatigue, back pain, and leg swelling. All these conditions can arise from or get aggravated by standing for extended periods. Sure, it's not healthy to sit in one place for long hours, but neither is standing. In fact, in some cases, the effects of prolonged standing can actually be worse!How healthy is it to stand up? ›
Stronger core, better posture
Medical research studies show that standing as little as 30 minutes a day can lower your risk of death from cardiovascular disease. Standing for 90 minutes can lower that risk by more than 33%. The more you stand, the more the benefits add up.
Prolonged standing is defined as over 8 hours of standing per day without a lot of movement and walking around. Jobs that require standing all day are commonly associated with lower back pain, issues with leg muscles and tendons, and chronic venous insufficiency.How long should a human stand for in a day? ›
How many hours a day are you supposed to stand? Experts have found that you should try to stand for at least 2 hours per day, but up to 4 hours per day could be optimal. This might seem like a lot, but there are lots of ways you can fit standing into your day.